Sitting "7"

About five weeks ago I was walking through a neighborhood just south of Jerusalem and noticed a big tent out in someone’s yard (apt complex) and a group of people sitting on a few cushions on the ground of their porch. At first I didn’t know what this was, the tent wasn’t extremely nice, in fact it looked like pieces of tarp hung to make a tent, so they weren’t really celebrating some big special event.

They were “sitting shiv’ah.”

The Hebrew term “shiv’ah” is simply “seven,” and the phrase, “sitting shiv’ah,” refers to the Jewish custom of sitting in mourning for seven days following the death of a deceased parent, spouse, sibling or child. During this time, the primary mourners do not leave the ‘shiv’ah house’ except on Shabbat and do not engage in normal work or business or even study Torah. Things like haircuts, bathing, shaving and changing of clothes are also prohibited in its practice today. Throughout the week of mourning, the mourners sit on low stools, benches, or on the floor. They also keep a memorial light burning. Friends and other relatives visit them to comfort and pray with them. When visiting the shiv’ah house, the mourners do not serve the guests, and in many communities people provide meals for those sitting shiv’ah. When visiting those sitting shiv’ah, the primary mourners speak first, if they don't speak, you should stay silent.

But you sit. There. With them.

In the New Testament, one of Jesus’ closest friends Lazarus dies, and “Many of the Judeans had come…to comfort them at the loss of their brother…Mary continued sitting (shiv’ah) in the house” (John 11:19-20). Both sisters seem to observe the practice.

The traditional origin of shiv’ah has been traced to seven days of deep mourning observed for the Patriarch Jacob (Gen 50:10). I also recently read through the book of Job and this Jewish custom is the context for most of those 42 chapters as well. Job endures great loss in the first couple chapters and then, Job’s three friends, Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar decided to stop what they were doing, travel to his house, in order to sit and sympathize with him.

“When they saw him from a distance…they began to weep aloud…Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was” (Job 2:12-13).

Now Job’s friends were not particularly exemplar friends or guests, as much of their dialogue was critical towards Job and questioning his integrity. But the idea of this Jewish custom is beautiful isn’t it?

Stop. Sit. Sympathize. Shiv’ah.